


All Kankri's Fault.

by apocalypticTaurus



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Character Death, Humanstuck, M/M, Sadstuck, i think this counts as sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-30
Updated: 2013-04-30
Packaged: 2017-12-09 23:59:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/779466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apocalypticTaurus/pseuds/apocalypticTaurus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It was my fault. It is my fault. It always will be my fault.” He repeated over and over and over. So much that if you didn’t know better, you would believe it yourself.<br/>It isn’t your fault, Kan.<br/>“Of course it is my fault. I am the one who wasn’t paying attention and walked right into the middle of that road.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cronus' P.O.V.

Through glowing, ghostly bowls of milky white, you watched him alone in his room. He was crying again. It had been a week since that rainy day and he still blames himself, still thinks it was his fault. His fault you got hit by the car. His fault you died. No matter what you tell him, he won’t listen.

“It was my fault. It is my fault. It always will be my fault.” He repeated over and over and over. So much that if you didn’t know better, you would believe it yourself.

_It isn’t your fault, Kan._

“Of course it is my fault. I am the one who wasn’t paying attention and walked right into the middle of that road.” He shoved his face into his bright red sweater.

_It is not your fault. How many times do I have to tell you before you believe me._

“It was my fault you died, Cronus!” He was yelling, scream through tears, at your translucent figure sitting on the edge of his bed. “Stop lying to me to make me feel better! It won’t work!”

There was a knock at the door.

“Kankri? Kankri, are you okay?” His dad called through the door. Everyone was concerned for him; he hadn’t left his room in days. He hadn’t eaten hardly anything. He was punishing himself and everyone was afraid of what he would do next.

“I’m fine.” He called in a strangled voice.

“Alright. I just wanted to make sure before I left. Would you please come out of your room? At least to see me off.” Kankri didn’t respond verbally, but, to your surprise, got up out of bed and actually threw on some clean clothes before leaving his room and heading down the stairs into his kitchen. You followed him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kankri's P.O.V

You were in bad shape. You could barely walk and probably looked so tired and pale. Your dad was standing in the door way, packed and ready to leave. He grabbed you and gave a tight hug.

“Please, try and forgive yourself for what happened. I don’ think Cronus would want you to be acting like this. Okay?” You nodded and he gave another quick hug. “I’ll be back in a week. Karkat,” he called into the next room, “take care of your brother while I’m away.” He turned around, closed the door behind him and drove away. You watched him through the window.

After you were sure he was gone, you went into the living room were your brother was on the couch reading a book.

“Karkat, where are the car keys?” Your voice was so quite.

“How the fuck should I know?” He didn’t even look at you.

“Please,” you pleaded with him, “just tell me.” Now he turned his head.

“They are on the counter.” Quickly, you turned to leave. “Wait, where are you going?” By the time he had gotten up and reached you, you were in the door, prepared to step into the warm summer air.

“Kankri. Tell me where you are going.”

“I am merely going for a short car ride.” You were lying.

“Alright,” he looked at you with almost sympathy and spoke in a tone unlike his usually angry one, “just don’t do anything you will regret. I have been through this type of thing, when Jade died, and yeah, for a while, the guilty feelings eat you alive, but you need to remember that it wasn’t your fault.” You jerked away from him and closed the door, before your brother could finish his sentence.

Why did everyone keep telling you that? They didn’t understand. Even when Jade died, it wasn’t Karkat’s fault, he didn’t. This _was_ your fault. The tears were flowing again by the time you got into the driver’s seat and turned on the car.

 _Kan? Kan, where are you going?_ Cronus’ voice sounded from next to you, you didn’t reply. You just drove down the road as fast as you legally could.

Within a few moments, you reached the beach. It was Cronus’ favorite spot in the whole town and you would come down here with him even though you were afraid of swimming. Now though. You had a different purpose for being here.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cronus' P.O.V.

_Kan, please, tell me what you are doing._ He still wouldn’t respond to you as he walked up to the public entrance, kick off his shoes and rolled up his pants. His silence was eerie. Never was Kankri this quite.

He walked along the shore, careful not to touch the water, picking up rocks and putting them in his pockets as he went. You fallowed like a loyal dog. His steps quickened when the two of you got closer to the small dock where no boats were ever left.

Kankri walked all the way to the end and stared into the blue-green depths of the ocean. All of your other friends and especially yourself would always come down here and dive off. The water was so deep you were never in any danger of touching the sandy sea floor. It had to be at least 30 feet deep.

But why was Kankri here? He was deathly afraid of water, especially since he couldn’t swim. He never came out on this old dock so why was he here now?

Then it hit you.

_Kankri. You better not be thinking of doing what I think you are think of doing._

No response. Kankri turned around, his back facing the water, his heels not even centimeters away from the end of the wood planks.

_Why are you doing this?!_

“It is my fault you died. All my fault.” Then he let himself fall backwards into the water.

 _“Kankri!”_ You called his name so loud it would be audible to anyone on the beach.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kankri's P.O.V.

At first the water was cold. So very cold.

Your head got light and heavy at the same time as you sank deeper and deeper into the dark depths.

Your chest got tight.

You were forced to breathe.

After you did, the experienced changed.

Instead of being cold, you felt very warm, like you were being wrapped in a thick blue blanket.

You don’t know if you hit the ground or not. Everything went black before you got the chance to feel the sand.

You felt yourself leave your body, but you couldn’t see anything.

Only a blinding white light.

And then nothing.

 

The next thing you knew, you were standing back on the dock with several pair of white eyes staring at you. You recognized every one of them.

Aradia, a girl who committed suicide sometime last year.

Dirk, a boy would got caught on the wrong side of town one evening two years ago.

And Jade, Karkat’s old girlfriend, with her siblings, Jane, John and Jake, died who in a house fire their step mother set.

They all looked at you sadly, but no one spoke.

You turned your head to see if Cronus was around. He was sitting at the edge of the dock.

You walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder so he would turn around.

When he did, you could tell he was crying.

“Why did you do it?!”

“I had to.”

“You didn’t have to though! When I pushed you out of the way of that car I was trying to save you! To give you a second chance at life! But you went and threw it away! I wanted you to live, Kankri!” You couldn’t tell whether he was angrier or sadder.

“I’m sorry, Cronus.” You felt like crying now.


End file.
